"She's Growing!", and so am I!

Here we are a couple weeks almost into April and only a few days from one of my favorite holiday's, Easter. I am very excited this year as I get to put out an extra basket of "goodies" for my baby girl- you know filled with all the good stuff that I like, I mean, that her mom likes to eat! But even more than that, we get to join in the ancient tradition of celebrating the Lord's resurrection in a new way for the first time together this year.

As Natalie continues to grow, (notice the pics!) I find myself growing as well. Of course for my close friends who are at the present moment uttering underneath your breaths, "don't you wish Timmy", I must truly admit, it's no lie!

Interestingly enough in my last blog post I talked about change, and now I am talking about growth. I think that with change there must come a response, and one of the best responses is positive growth. But even with growth, if there is no change married with it, it can most often be a very frustrating life!

Like with Natalie, as she "grows", her body, her hair, her ability to make beautiful noises, her strength, her mind, and of course her smile! She finds herself in a new place of life. At this age she really does not have the option as to what clothes she wears, BUT, if her daddy was not willingly to face the fact that she is growing and continued to put her in old "new born" clothes instead of "changing" and facing up to the fact that she has grown, than how frustrating would that be, especially for Natalie?! She would probably not hesitate to tell me (given the sorts of genes that she inherited from her mommy and daddy!), as I am sure she has already tried to do - that is of course with her extensive "baby vocabulary".But it seems that I have yet to learn all those words!? However, I can sometimes hear hints of sarcasm laced within those smiles, grunts, coos, and squeals, that tend to sound a little like, "Daddy, these clothes are WAY to small. Can you PLEASE get me my new really cool OLDER GIRL clothes that Mommy told you fit me now?! I love you Daddy!" I think that's what I sometimes hear! :-)

And then there's me. Granted the previous example does involve me to some extent, but what if I was unwilling to face the fact that i'm changing? With Natalie around things have changed and I can either "grow" in grace and knowledge of my new life, or I can live a very stubborn and frustrating life in my own little Timmy world!

So here is where I find much of my deep thoughts and questions wondering during these past weeks of Lent. Am I willing to face the fact that growth and change go hand in hand- or better yet, that they just might be married to one another? Or will I be a typical average American? If I tend to be the average American, than won't I most likely choose not to change or grow?

Most often it's really just to hard to change and/or grow. And really if it's not going to "make me happy", why I should I change, right? Does this not sound like the American way? For example, "I need to change my house because I'm just not happy with it anymore", or "I need to change my job because I'm just not happy with it anymore", or "I need to change my spouse because I'm just not happy with him/her anymore" and so on. . .

I hope that as I celebrate this Holy Week with my baby girl and wife in community, that the grace of Easter, the grace of the Cross, the grace of the Eucharist, the grace of the Resurrection, will GROW and change me! I pray that the growth and change be orchestrated by my heavenly father so that I become more and more like the true EASTER I celebrate!

So as I grow in:
knowing how to change diapers on the fly
knowing that one set of extra clothes may just not be enough (for both Natalie and me)
knowing that when she's talking to her toys, that she may not really want me to interrupt
knowing that certain cries mean certain things
knowing that when she is talking to me I need to pay attention
knowing that when she's hungry, she's hungry and nothing else really matters
knowing that babies need to be "buckled in to their carriers before parents attempt a "hand-off" is essential
knowing that . . .
I must change!

I must change the way I do things, when I do things, how I do things, and . . . I must grow in more than just knowledge ("knowing"), but in grace too. Or better yet, I must allow myself TO BE changed by the grace giver himself and in turn be transformed in His grace. Grace not only for Natalie, but for myself as well because this is not about necessarily making me "happy", but about a joy found in living a life for an other, and in turn for the great Other, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I hope you followed these random thoughts just as well as Natalie did. Can't you tell what she thought from this great little pic?! :-)